Managing Stress in Life

Lets cut to the chase….no one is perfect in life but……Out of all the people that I have met across the years they whether it be in a school function, friends, and family. They all had some type of impact on me but I would say that it would be hard to decipher that one who made a true difference upon me. They all shaped me in who I am today. However, I believe that family shapes everything in a person with how they are raised and what they grow up to be. I believe that with me an always-on going thing within everyone’s day to day life would be the experience of stress. For me some of the daily hassles in my life are staying on task on my priorities around the house, the routines of waking up on time, being on time for classes, showing up to work on time, and, most importantly, completing class assignments to the best of my ability. Other stressors involving major life events I have experienced within the past four years were personal illness, graduating high school! I did not look at my recent health issue as anyone’s fault. I used my faith in God to control my emotions to find understanding and hope. In the past, I reacted to stressors by challenging each individually. In the same regard, realize I need to stay in control of daily events and prioritize tasks and to take school seriously. I am relieved to accomplish these tasks and focus on taking each day one at a time; tomorrow gives a new opportunity. I cannot predict the future, yet I can have some control in making myself a part of my vision. In the movie, “Forrest Gump,” Forrest says, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

There are different separate types of motivation such as extrinsic motivation and intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivation is one’s urge to do something that originates outside of a person. “For example, an extrinsically motivated person who dislikes math may work hard on a math equation because wants the reward for completing it. In the case of a student, the reward would be a good grade on an assignment or in the class” As for me my extrinsic motivation would be if I were to take a job that I would not really desire because it would be nothing that I would ever want to do, just to make the money. Intrinsic motivation is within a person such as me doing volunteer work; within volunteer work I love volunteer work and giving back to the community in some way shape or form. I also always am motivated to do labor projects around the house such as gardening and cleaning out the house such as me helping my godmother with gutting out her house she grew up in and selling it these past few weekends.

The support team that I have is my family. My parents have instilled high values and expectations of my siblings and myself. I was expected to stay on task with my schoolwork and my parents did not hesitate to give frequent reminders when I got off schedule. In addition, communication was expected and has proven to be key to our family’s cohesiveness. Along with myself, my older brother and my older sister are quite different, yet each of us has strong self-identities. The literature references confirmation theorists and suggests that individuals who are allowed to have their own perspective, value themselves more (Dailey, 2009). Dailey explains that children who are raised in confirming climates learn that they are accepted regardless of the success of their behaviors. In my family, each of us children have identified different life goals and developed good self-esteem while not instilling a competition between us. My family has helped me realize how important it is to use communication as the means to identify goals and formulate ideas and opinions.

Having grown up in a consensual family where goals were set and strategies communicated, each of us children developed a conflict style: mine being collaborating and accommodating bring out my authentic leader quality. I treat others in conflict as a mutual problem solving challenge. I am a collaborator who will focus on long-term goals in the common interest of others. I often use this behavior while working on a group project. As an accommodator, I often will extend myself to fill in where someone needs help, like at the campus radio station; I will restructure my day to decrease someone else’s conflict.

My life is integrated being the fact that, I have coped with stress in my life-personal, work, family, and community I am able to be the same person in all aspects of life. I usually take time to exercise, to nap, to shower, listen to music, spend time outside in the garden, talk to friends and family members, play with my pets, and even have a cup of coffee. These strategies have worked well because I would feel more relaxed and refreshed and able to pick up the pieces in a forward motion. When I drink coffee it tends to make me relax and feel happy, especially if I am worrying about something. It clears my thoughts and makes me focus on a busy day, even waking me up if I am tired.

A scene from the movie “Kicking and Screaming” quotes Chicago Bears former head-coach Mike Ditka commenting on coffee. “It picks you up. It calms you down. It’s the lifeblood that drives the dreams of champions… Coffee is the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions.”

Dailey, R. (2009) Confirmation from family members: Parent and Siblings contributions to adolescent psychological adjustment. Western Journal of Communication, 73(3), 273-299. doi:10.1080/10570310903082032

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